I started a new chemo today (yesterday) and want to write about it. Maybe writing about it will help ease the fear I have inside.
We decided that I'd take it at 6pm and at 6am since those two times are the least likely times I'd be noshing on food. Chris hands me the two yellow pills and I don't know what happened to me. One minute I'm like, "sure, lets get it over with" and the next, I'm all crying so hard I can't breath. I think the side effects scare me (i know they do) and I'm also just tired of taking medicine that makes me ill. I want to be cancer free. I want this over with. So, I eventually stop shaking and crying and try to swallow them, only to get it stuck in my throat. I had to drink a full glass of water, and a full glass to my stomach is 8-10 ounces. Anyway, I did it. I took them and now am started on the stronger dose of chemo. I think what made me cry was I had it in my head that I only had to take 2 pills a day. Not 2 at a time, 4 a day. That little mind screw... got to me.
Good news, I interviewed with the Dept of Commerce, National Telecommunications and Information Administration (NTIA for short) and was told that they would narrow down the search in a week. I got a call back this morning that they wanted me to meet with their Associate Administrator, Mr. Fletcher (I interviewed with the Deputy associate administrator, Laura) and Laura wanted me to email her and Sandy my references. i did..... and I'm so STOKED. I have a second interview scheduled for Friday at 11. I have a fantastic feeling about this job! You know how you meet people and things just 'click'? That's how it was there. A very small office, 5 people. that's it. and that would be me included. Nice eh? And it's located right near the place I used to work in DC, so I worry a bit about terrorist, especially since I'd be located VERY close to the white house. But, then again, I remember the camera's and all the security on and around pennsylvania avenue... I think we'd be okay.
Okay, for day 2 of the meds.... my joints are a bit achy. Not to say it's not from exercising, but it's almost a chore to lift them up and walk. I ate my strawberry waffles, the krispy kreme doughnut and the avacado today... and I don't want anything else. the thought of food is making me sick again. great. OH.. and it mentioned something about gas. I have to laugh at that because if there is one thing this gal doens't need, and that is another excuse to fart. Anyway, I had to excuse myself because as i was peeing.. i was tooting and the bathroom acts like a microphone. Of course it had to be a full house too. I didn't come out until it was empty though. I should have said something like, "have a taste of THAT cheeseburger" (yeah, borrowed from someone else) but I knew who was in there and didn't want THEM to know it was me fartin'. I hope it goes away soon... i don't want to be known as the crop duster.
Class tonight. I did my paper on Gay marriage. I wish I had chosen a different topic because I could have written more if it were just on Coming out in America... so many atheletes and actors I could have included. this blog sucks by the way.... i'm in a hurry and my form and language are horrible.
gotta go, it's almost time to leave and head home to my sweetheart and puppy.
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