I had on my calendar a meeting with my supervisor and the administrative officer to go over my making up hours for medical appointments. What it turned out to be was I am an inadequate employee and I am supposed to know everything that goes on in the office, especially since the walls are so thin. I am to know how to process badges, a job that requires TRAINING and is what Trivita trained for and when I responded with, "Okay, since you expect me to know not only MY job, but hers as well, am I to assume I'm getting the necessary training to do the job as her backup?" the answer was no. How the flying fuck am I expected to be a backup to someone if I don't have the training or necessary skills to perform the job? hello.. setup to fail right there.
then they mentioned the publications. The bane of my existence. a job I pleaded to not get because I don't know what the hell I'm supposed to do with them. And damned if I'm going to over 800 scientists to ask if they've had anything published, where, when, how much did it cost us, was it peer related, was it an a conference, a title and the bibliographical data. I send an email out the beginning of each month asking those questions. if the buttmunches don't want to respond, I'm not wasting my time knocking on doors, then chance a reprimand for not being at MY DESK. On top of everything else they expect me to do. Frankly, what they ask is impossible and is part of the reason Susan worked 12 hour days. This bitch is not getting paid overtime and damned if I'm going to stress out like she did. Fuck them. So, I stormed out the office, ran for the bathroom and cried like a baby for a few minutes.
The only thing good that came out of the meeting is I can come in at 6:30am and make up my hours for when I have a medical appointment. so basically I'm back on the AWS schedule, but it can't SAY aws. Which also means I have to get up earlier.
I think being told that there has been no improvement from my review set me on a bad edge. What the hell do they want from me? I'm doing what I'm supposed to do, and trying to improve...and they expect more? Whose job am I doing anyway?
On a plus note... things are going amazingly well with my other half. to think I wasted so much time brooding because i thought he didn't want me and the whole time he did. We've been rather busy making up for lost time. That's all I'm saying on the matter. I love him with my whole heart.. and he's the only one I've given 100% to (kids excluded.. that's normal). I've never trusted anyone like I do him. I think what happened earlier showed me that he really does love me. Not that I was testing it, but I doubted. I don't anymore.
Our 2 year anniversary is coming up and i only picked one thing up for him... and it's stupid. I wish I knew what to get him... it's driving me nuts. Still a few days to go, but I hope something comes up soon. I want it to be special.
g2g for now, the gym calleth. and so does lunch.
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